I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
