it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
