facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
