The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
vagina is talking i cant
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
