I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
