You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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