think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
