Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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