JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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