Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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