she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
