dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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