U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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