take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize