I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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