Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
