and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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