you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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