i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
