cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
