got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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