thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
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