You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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