Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
