my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
