i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
