Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
