In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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