My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
This gyro tastes like lonliness
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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