So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he thought i was a dude.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
