i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
