I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
