Non-Jews are for practice
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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