i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
