He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize