So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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