I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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