girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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