once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
