from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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