I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
