I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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