Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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