shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
