You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Randomize
