But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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