I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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