When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
