note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
