she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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