Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
