Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
