Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
