Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
