I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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