The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
