Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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