Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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